The Sexy Motherpucker is a gloss crayon by Soap & Glory. I was able to get my hands on three shades. Since the formulation is so sheer, it’s a little hard to describe the shades, so I’ll go by their names: Nudist, Fuschiaristic, and Plum Jam.
These swatches aren’t very helpful either, huh?
As swatches, they don’t look like they differ very much. Just random variations of the same nude gloss. On the lips, however, there is a significant difference. At least, in my mind:
Each shade lends a different mood to the face. I think they’re actually arranged from most favorite to least. We’ll see, but I usually don’t like a lot of warmth in my lip color. Who knows why.
These are different from your usual crayon, because it’s a gloss and not a matte lip color, or a stain or a balm. If I’m not mistaken, NARS also has a gloss lip pencil, but I haven’t tried those so I can’t compare.
The Sexy Motherpucker is easy on the lips! Very comfortable to wear, really. There’s a slight tackiness due to the gloss formula, but it’s really, really subtle, similar to Le Métier de Beauté’s Sheer Brilliance Lip Gloss formula.
The only con I can think of is the smell. As you might know, I do not like it when cosmetics take a baked goods route. Turns me off so much. I’ve grown accustomed to the MAC Lipstick smell, but I am still keeping away from my Tom Ford lipstick, because it smells so strongly of vanilla. This has a similar smell, so I don’t know just how much I’ll end up using it.
Seriously, what is it with vanilla?
An awesome thing: the pencils are retractable. Hurrah for pencil sharpener haters everywhere!
These are available in random places in the UK, and I think it’s sold in some US retailers and Boots in other countries. I’m sorry if they’re a little harder to get a hold of, but if you can, grab a few of these! Definitely a fuss-free gloss experience, which is always what I’m after. 🙂
Soap & Glory’s Animal Testing Policy: “At Soap & Glory, we absolutely do not test our formulations on animals, however we can’t say that each and every ingredient that goes into them has not, at some point historically, been cleared for human use, by animal testing. We hope this answers your question. If you need any more information about animal testing, we’d suggest you contact Colipa, the European Cosmetics Directive association, via http://www.colipa.eu.”